"At what age can toddlers use a pillow? My 20-month-old sleeps so much better when she bunches her blanket up to use as pillow, but that can't be comfortable! I'm hoping to transition her to a toddler bed soon and I can't do that if she's tossing and turning all night. I'm hoping a pillow will keep her stationary, but I've heard chiropractors say to hold off as long as possible. Any advice?" ~ Jessie N.
Hey Jessie! You’re not comfortable without a pillow, I’m not comfortable without a pillow (make that two, and make them firmly fluffy please, for this side sleeper!). But the truth is, toddlers are completely comfortable without a pillow. Not only that, they aren’t really able to use pillows the way we do when they’re sleeping (snuggled up on the sofa with a book, that’s another story). Pillows are, after all, designed to prop up, support and cushion our heads during sleep. We keep them at the top of our beds, because that’s where our heads tend to spend the night, usually the whole night. Even my husband Erik, a ridiculously restless sleeper who has a reputation for pummeling even an extra firm pillow into a rolled-up, wrinkled rag doll version of its former self (I pick up the remains each morning and toss them into the dryer with a tennis ball to plump his pillow back up), keeps his head at the top of the bed (and mostly on his pillow) when he sleeps.
On the flip (and flip, and flip again) side, toddlers sleep every which way but up – down, side to side, on a diagonal, on a different diagonal, butt up, splayed out, folded over, full-on fetal….you name it, and you’ve probably seen it on the crib monitor. That makes it just about impossible for a toddler to use a pillow in any traditional sense – she may clutch it, but she’s not likely to rest her sweet little head on it.
More Toddler Safe Sleep Tips
A toddler pillow is a probably a safe addition to a crib after age 18 months, along with a small blanket for comfort (not for warmth or cover, since toddlers won’t stay under a blanket). Some experts suggest waiting until age 2, just to play it super safe. Either way, the pillow should be very firm, small, and not be used with a pillowcase, which adds extra fabric to the mix – and in the hands of a wriggly toddler may end up as loose bedding.
That said, there is absolutely no compelling case (so to speak) for adding a pillow until she shows active interest in having one. She almost certainly won’t use it to sleep on, and it almost definitely won’t keep her from tossing, turning, turning again, flipping, flipping again, and otherwise moving all night long. As for transitioning to a toddler bed, unless she has successfully scaled the walls of her crib or has been actively trying, there’s no compelling reason to make that switch now, either. Experts agree (and how often do they do that?) that little ones are safest in a crib until they can no longer be contained there – ideally, as close to the third birthday as possible, even later if they’re content to stay put. Moving the mattress to the lowest point possible makes an early escape less likely, though some toddlers never attempt escape at all and some succeed in escaping early in the 2nd year (making an early transition to a toddler bed necessary). Padding on the floor around the sides of the crib can make any fall less risky, too.
Interestingly, some research shows that toddlers sleep longer and better in a crib than they do in a bed – really no surprise when you consider that they can easily pop out of a bed and play (or wander down the hallway to your room) whenever they feel like it. Yes, you can pop her back in as many times as she pops out, but is that really how you want to spend your night (when you could be snuggled up on your own comfy pillow?). Jack-in-the-box antics are likely whenever she graduates to a bed, but at age 3 she may be easier to reason with or entice with stickers for staying put.
Hugs,
Heidi
Help Me, Heidi! is a weekly advice column in which What to Expect creator Heidi Murkoff answers your most pressing pregnancy and parenting questions. She’s tackling the stuff you are desperate to know right now — so if you have a question, ask Heidi here or on Facebook and she might answer in an upcoming column. (Not sure if Heidi's answered one of your questions? Check out the rest of the columns here.)
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