"I've been TTC for 6 months, and I feel a stab of baby envy every time I see a mom and her baby. How can I get over that?"
After months of tracking your basal body temperature, ovulation cycle and every other conception variable in hopes of getting pregnant, you’re bound to get a bout of baby envy every once in a while. So how can you banish this green-eyed gremlin?
First of all, do your best to be hopeful. Life is good, and so are your chances of conceiving and having a healthy baby.
Need some proof? The next time you feel frustrated or blue, remember these statistics:
- 85 percent of women get pregnant within 12 months of trying without any medical intervention.
- Assuming you're having sex regularly without contraception, healthy couples have a 25 percent to 30 percent chance of getting pregnant during each monthly cycle.
- Fertility rates are in motherhood’s favor well into your 30s: Your likelihood dips a bit as you get older, but women between ages 35 and 39 have a 15 percent chance of conceiving each cycle.
If baby envy still strikes, or you find yourself tearing up when you see a baby commercial or play peek-a-boo with a stranger’s baby, don’t suppress it — embrace it! You can’t wait to become a parent, so share your excitement and emotions with the baby you’re expecting to expect. Write a letter or record a video with your partner if you have one, and include all of your hopes and dreams for your little one. Put it away (don’t forget where), and bring it out when your child turns 18.
Another strategy? Embrace your baby envy by embracing a baby! Offer a with-child friend a few hours of free babysitting so you and your partner can indulge in some satisfying baby snuggles and practice being parents while your grateful friend can grab some much needed one-on-one time with her partner (or some “me-time” with herself!).
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Whatever you do, try your best not to get too sad or stressed. Instead, try to focus on things that make you feel good, like doing things you love and spending quality time with your partner. When you’re trying to conceive, your relationship takes center stage — but often with a few bumpy turns, especially if you’ve been trying for a while. Yes, you’re looking forward to being a threesome — but don’t forget to focus on your twosome. Celebrate what’s to come (maybe this time next year!) with a romantic dinner out or breakfast in bed. Remember: Once you have a baby, it’ll be a good long while before you get to linger over breakfast (in or out of bed) again!
Here’s to the end of baby envy,
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