Oh, one of the joys of new parenthood: sleep. Or shall we say, the lack of it? One question that never fails to elicit a groan is undoubtedly, "how's your little one sleeping?" And it's understandable: you're knee-deep in diapers and midnight feedings, and the last thing you want is a dissertation on baby sleep strategies every time someone inquires. Am I right, or am I right?
Between sleep regressions, separation anxiety, getting over newborn day/night confusion and unexplained middle-of-the-night wakings, it can feel like your sleep is non-existent in those first few weeks or months. Sometimes it just takes time to get your little one on the right track, but some babies (or toddlers) and their parents could benefit from more individualized tips from a pro. This is where sleep consultants come in.
These experts may sound like the magic sleep aid all new (or new-ish) parents need, but as with most big decisions in life, there are pros and cons to consider. One consideration is the financial aspect — a sleep consultant is definitely an expense on top of all the other costs of having a baby. So should you hire one? To help you decide, here's more about what a sleep consultant does and whether or not working with one might be the right move for your family.
What is a sleep consultant?
Also referred to as a sleep coach or a sleep trainer, a sleep consultant is a professional who helps parents or caregivers solve their little one’s sleep problems through digital courses, home visits or individualized coaching plans. They don't need a medical background, but any sleep consultant you’d want to hire should have received certification after completing various courses from a sleep training program. While the American Acadenmy of Pediatrics doesn't have specific guidance on the exact certification programs that are best, reputable sleep organizations like The Family Sleep Institute and The Institute of Pediatric Sleep and Parenting are the best places to go to start your search. They can provide a list of graduates of their sleep programs in various states, so you can feel confident that whoever you hire has received the proper sleep training.
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Essentially, consultants help treat what’s referred to as behavioral insomnia, when a child has trouble falling or staying asleep, says Samuel Knee, M.D., a sleep medicine pediatrician at Saint Peter’s University Hospital in New Brunswick, New Jersey. The two types of behavioral insomnia are “onset, which refers to a younger kid used to being rocked, pat or fed to sleep; and limit-setting, an older child who’s pushing your limits by asking for an extra hug or an extra story.” The idea is that once you stop the stimulus that the child needs before bed, their behavior will change with it and the sleep will gradually improve.
However, it's important to have a discussion with your child's pediatrician to make sure there is not a medical condition contributing to any of their sleep problems, says Dr. Knee. Things like prematurity, heart disease, paused breathing or sleep apnea can all contribute to a little one's sleep problems. Any of these conditions would need to be addressed before working with a sleep consultant — or in some cases, flagged so that your sleep consultant can adjust the way they work with your child.
At what age(s) could a sleep consultant be helpful?
Parents might assume that sleep consultants are most helpful during the newborn stage since baby sleep problems are pretty much a rite of passage into parenthood (sorry, folks). But Dr. Knee doesn’t advise doing any type of sleep training before a baby hits four to six months of age.
“Babies don’t develop all the stages of sleep including deep sleep, REM sleep and light sleep until they’re around this age,” he notes. “You can start light sleep training with a good bedtime routine, but keep in mind some kids might not be ready for more.” For example, preemies or underweight babies might still need to eat in the middle of the night at five or six months old, so it’s always a good idea to first check with your pediatrician before hiring a sleep consultant.
Some parents also lean on these experts in the toddler years and beyond. And some sleep consultants work exclusively with ‘older kids,’ because that’s when unhealthy sleep patterns may arise. Plus, establishing healthy toddler bedtime strategies and understanding how much sleep a toddler needs can be tricky.
“Once kids are out of the crib and sleeping in an open bed, sleep challenges can intensify,” says Jessica Berk, certified pediatric sleep consultant in Southport, Connecticut. “Kids are free to run out of the room, are generally more vocal and may be expressing fears or just begging, “Mommy, don’t leave!”
How do I know if I need a sleep consultant?
When and if you look into a sleep coach for your child ultimately depends on your family’s needs. And remember, you'll also want to discuss your sleep concerns with your pediatrician before seeking out a sleep consultant. In general though, you might consider hiring a sleep consultant if:
You’re having trouble establishing a steady sleep routine for child
You’re stuck in your child’s room at bedtime because your child can’t fall asleep without you
Your child is waking up in the middle of the night
Your child is waking up for the day at 4 or 5 a.m.
How much do sleep consultants cost?
Sleep consultant costs vary based on a variety of factors. Members of the What to Expect Community shared that they paid anywhere from $100 for a link to a digital course to $350 for three weeks of 1:1 training to $650 for a more extensive package. Many consultants offer optional a-la-carte add-ons or stand-alones such as unlimited text or email support, digital courses or personalized written-up instructions, which will change the overall cost as well.
In general, how much a sleep consultant costs depends on a variety of factors, including:
The age of your child(ren)
The consultant’s level of experience and qualifications/certifications
Whether you’re doing virtual or in-person consults
Whether you want 1-on-1 support or a group session/digital course (or both)
How long your ‘treatment’ plan is
Your location
If you have health insurance, check with your benefits provider to see if a sleep consultant is covered under your FSA or HSA health plan. Though they’re not doctors and can’t dispense medical advice, a sleep consultant just might be fully or partially covered just as, say, a lactation consultant might be.
How to find a sleep consultant that works for your family
Sleep consultants are not required to be certified before working with families — this industry isn’t regulated in the same way the medical profession is. Still, you want to hire someone who knows what they’re doing, so starting your search with your pediatrician is the best way to go. Then you can turn to those reputable organizations (The Family Sleep Institute and The Institute of Pediatric Sleep and Parenting) to find specific consultants in your area.
You can also turn to friends and family members for personal recommendations, including local mom groups on Facebook — word of mouth is in many cases the best route to take when hiring a sleep pro. Plus, this way you can ask other parents directly for feedback and read through comments from moms in your area before pulling the trigger on hiring. If you go this route, you should still check the sleep consultant's credentials before hiring them.
How to find an online sleep course
Online sleep classes could be a good alternative for parents who don’t want to or don’t have the time to meet in person. There are benefits of a sleep consultant course, including:
You can complete the virtual lessons on your own schedule
Online courses are generally less expensive than individualized plans
Online courses are generally less of a time commitment
Just as with a face-to-face sleep consultant, you can find your perfect virtual class by asking around IRL or in local Facebook groups or by Googling and reading reviews online. Just remember to do your own research and check their credentials before hiring them.
Questions to ask before hiring a sleep consultant
After you’ve decided that a sleep consultant is right for you, Dr. Knee says you’ll want to ask yourself the following questions to ensure you have the right person for the job:
Does this person have experience with my child’s age group?
Does this person have experience with my child’s particular sleep problem?
Is this person qualified/certified?
Do I want virtual or in-person consultations?
Are their services within my budget?
How does this person adjust their offerings if your child isn't sleeping after following their initial guidance?
Do they have good reviews online or through word-of-mouth?
Am I okay with working with a group of other parents and/or following an online course?
One last thing to keep in mind: “Sleep is vital for children’s health and development and if you need help, it’s okay to ask for it,” Berk says. As all parents know, it takes a village.