When it came time to potty train my toddler son, my husband and I had every intention of following a quick plan that would get him out of diapers in a single weekend.
But while our son was excited about the idea of using the toilet, we quickly learned that a structured, three-day potty training method just wasn't the right fit. (For starters, our son refused to sit on the potty when he didn't feel like he had to go.) So we had to shift our approach.
The point of this story isn't to tell you that potty training is hard or frustrating. (Though it can, at times, be both — not gonna lie!) It's that there are lots of ways to teach your child to use the toilet. There's no right method that works for everyone, notes the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), and sometimes you might need to try a few different techniques before things click for your kid.[1]
So how do you choose the method that's right for your family? It helps to start potty training by considering the pros and cons of each option. Here's what you need to know.
How we chose the best potty-training methods
I chatted with two doctors to learn about the perks and downsides of different potty training methods:
- Daniel Ganjian, M.D., F.A.A.P., a board-certified pediatrician at Providence Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica, California
- Tasha M. Brown, Ph.D., a clinical child and adolescent psychologist at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital and assistant professor of medical psychology at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City
I also drew on the potty-training experience of real parents, including members of the What to Expect Community, to find what worked for them. Altogether, I came up with a list of four major methods that take different paths to reach the same destination: getting your toddler out of diapers.
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The best for potty training on a deadline: Three-day potty training
You might've heard about this method from the uber-popular book Oh Crap! Potty Training, which centers on a three-day plan. In order to get your child potty trained that quickly, you'll essentially stay home as much as possible while keeping your child naked from the waist down for fast, easy access to the toilet when one of you notices he has to go.
Think of the three-day method like a potty training boot camp. It's an intense introduction that can quickly get your toddler used to peeing in the potty, but you'll need to manage your expectations. Most kids will still have some accidents after the three-day intensive. Also, the focus is really just on daytime peeing. "Toilet training happens in phases for most children, and it can take weeks or months for them to master pooping in the toilet or stay dry overnight," Dr. Brown says.
Pros
- It can be fast and efficient. The intensive focus often leads to quick results, Dr. Ganjian explains. That's helpful if you're on a deadline, like needing to potty train before starting day care or preschool.
- It works well for families with busy schedules. If you're usually on the move, you can tackle this over a long weekend when you know you'll have some downtime.
- It encourages children to pay attention to their body cues. Keeping your kid naked from the waist down means he can get to the potty as soon as he senses that he has to go. And if he has accidents on the floor, he'll notice them and quickly start to make the connection that the pee is supposed to go in the toilet.
Cons
- It can be frustrating and high-pressure. Potty training is quick for some kids and gradual for others. If yours falls into the latter camp, you both might end up discouraged, Dr. Brown notes.
- There are usually lots of accidents. You'll be cleaning up plenty of pee, so you might want to pick up the rugs and have some wipes ready.
- You're cooped up for three days. It doesn't *sound* that long, but it can feel that way when you're in the thick of it.
How to do it
Give your child a heads-up that you'll be working on potty training for the next three days.
- On day one, take off your child's clothes and diaper so he's naked from the waist down. You can also put out a potty where he normally plays. (This can help with not making the the potty feel a punishment or chore, as he doesn't need to stop playing or leave the room to use it.) Stay home and go about your day.
- Monitor your child for signs that he might need to use the potty and help him get there ASAP. You can offer a small potty-training reward for a successful pee (or poop), if you'd like, but definitely give plenty of verbal praise. Be matter-of-fact about accidents, and clean up the mess without shaming your child. Punishment can backfire and create a negative connotation with potty training.
- Encourage your child to use the potty before naptime and before bed.
- Repeat for the next two days. By day three, your child may have started to pick up on his bodily cues for when he has to go and might have a decent amount of success with getting to the potty on time.
What parents say
"[My daughter] was almost 2.5, and I had a week off of work. What I did was keep her without any panties/pull-ups on [...] for about four to five days, and she was good to go. We had been practicing weeks before, but being on vacation allowed me to focus solely on that. It is possible!"
"I would say do the Oh Crap method … If your child is rewards-driven, then get small rewards. (My child is obsessed with fruit snacks, so we used mini packs.) Try to be patient; it will take time. Buy disposable pee pads if you have rugs. Use the training underwear and regular underwear. Your kiddo is smart enough to do it."
The best for low-stress potty training: Child-led potty training
With child-led potty training, you're following your child's lead on all things toilet-related. That includes starting training when they show signs of potty training readiness, and letting them decide when they actually want to go throughout the day. "It respects the child's natural pacing of how they want to navigate using the toilet — it's not on a specific schedule," Dr. Brown says.
Pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton first standardized child-led potty training as a method in 1962, and Dr. Benjamin Spock later endorsed it in his 1968 book Baby and Child Care.[2] It's also the guiding principle for more modern methods like Montessori toilet training and "gentle" potty training.
Pros
- It's low pressure and low conflict. You're less likely to get into a power struggle with your toddler when he's in charge of the potty situation. "There's less resistance and less regression since it's led by the child's readiness," Dr. Ganjian says.
- You don't need to set aside a big chunk of time. Since you're following your child's timeline, you don't need to buckle down for three days at home, adds Dr. Ganjian.
Cons
- It can take longer. Your child might not be drawn to the potty at the age where you'd want to start training. "You really have to be patient, because your child's timing may not be your timing," says Dr. Brown.
- It might not work for certain schedules. If your toddler needs to be potty trained by a specific time, like before starting day care or preschool, it isn't optimal.
How to do it
- Make the potty easily accessible for your child, like putting out a seat in the area he normally plays. It's fine to do this before your child expresses interest, as long as you let him decide when to try it. You might want to keep your child in diapers or pull-ups early on as he's in the exploratory phase.
- Encourage your child to tell you when he needs to use the potty. Give him lots of positive reinforcement (like verbal praise) whenever he's successful.
- If you notice your child seems like he has to go, it's fine to suggest that they try the potty, but don't make him.
- Once your child seems to have the hang of it, switch over to underwear. Make a big deal and celebrate!
What parents say
"We had a potty out since [our daughter was] about 20 months … She started using it occasionally, and [at] around 2 [years old,] we switched to pull-ups, and she used it more and more on her own … At about 30 months, she was using it pretty consistently and knowing when she needed to go. We picked out underwear and set a date and talked A LOT about it, and then when the weekend came, we never looked back."
The best for easily distracted kids (or parents): Scheduled sitting
Scheduled sitting involves setting a timer and having your child try the potty at regular intervals throughout the day (usually every 30 minutes or so). Some parents incorporate scheduled sitting into a three-day approach to help their toddlers get the hang of things. Others take a slower approach, gradually increasing the length of time in between intervals (to, say, 45 minutes or an hour).
Pros
- It's predictable. Having set times "can help establish a routine," for using the potty, which is helpful for some kids, Dr. Ganjian notes.
- It can work quickly. You might be able to knock potty training out in a couple days, if you're combining scheduled sitting with the three-day method.
- It's good for toddlers (or parents) who are easily distracted. If your toddler tends to get very caught up in playing or exploring — or you're afraid you don't notice their cues and encourage them to try the potty — having a timer can be helpful, Dr. Brown says.
Cons
- There's less focus on bodily cues. Relying on the clock means your toddler might be slower to pick up on the feeling of having to pee or poop, which could mean more accidents, Dr. Brown says.
- It can lead to power struggles. Some toddlers just don't want to try the potty when they don't have to go. If yours is one of them, be prepared to butt heads, says Dr. Ganjian.
How to do it
- Give your child a heads up that you'll start working on potty training and will try the potty every time a timer goes off.
- Set a timer for every 30 minutes. When the timer goes off, take your toddler to the potty. Encourage him to sit for a set amount of time (like 5 minutes) to see if anything comes out.[3] (Make a big deal if it does!) While you're waiting, you can read books, tell stories or just chat. If nothing comes out, be casual and tell your child he can try again later.
- Schedule potty trips at times when it makes sense to try going, like before naptime or bedtime, after meals and before leaving the house.
- Once he's racked up some successes, you can start gradually stretching the length of time in between potty breaks to 45 minutes, an hour or longer. The increments are up to you, so experiment to see what works. Eventually, you'll reach the point where your toddler can decide for himself when to use the potty.
What parents say
"We set a timer for 30 minutes to start with, and every 30 minutes I would make my girl go sit and try even if she said she didn't want to. Once she started going on the potty more, we stretched to 45 minutes and then an hour. Now I just ask her every hour or so if she needs to go and let her decide. Really it just took time and practice. She still wears a pull-up at night but during the day is in panties and hasn't had an accident in over a month!"
"Set a timer for 45 minutes, and keep putting them back on the potty constantly throughout the day. When they do go potty, make it a huge deal, call Grandma and Grandpa, clap, give hugs, etc. Stay consistent. I also did have to get two different seats because my son was so scared of the big toilet. Now he's comfortable with both."
The best for babies: Elimination communication
Sometimes called natural infant hygiene, elimination communication is essentially baby potty training. Since there's no verbal communication, it involves keeping close tabs on your baby to learn his natural bathroom rhythms (like peeing shortly after nursing) as well as reading his cues that he might have to poop (like squirming or grunting). When it's time to go, you hold your baby (bare-bottomed) over a toilet so he can go in there, instead of in a diaper.[4]
Pros
- It can mean freedom from diapers sooner. Babies who are given a chance to do elimination communication might get potty trained earlier, Dr. Ganjian says.
- It might reduce crying. Some research shows a link between elimination communication and less infant crying.[5] That could be because parents are paying close attention to signs that a baby might have to poop (including being uncomfortable or crying). And if it turns out the baby doesn't have to poop, the parent might move on to other things to try to offer comfort, like feeding, experts theorize.
Cons
- It's stressful and labor intensive. It can be hard enough to figure out what your baby wants or why he's fussing. Adding potty training to the mix may make it harder.
- It can be messy. If you don't make it to the toilet in time, pee or poop could end up on the floor (or on you).
- It might be tough to implement with other caregivers. Your baby's day care might not help with elimination communication, for instance.
How to do it
- Commit to going diaper-free as often as possible when you're home. Not having to fuss with diapers means you can get your baby to the toilet faster.
- Pay attention to how your baby acts when he pees or poops, as well as when he tends to pee or poop. Hopefully, you'll start to notice some patterns that can clue you in shortly before he has to go.
- When you think your baby has to pee or poop, bring him to the bathroom and hold him over the toilet. As he's going, give a signal that he can start to associate with bathroom breaks (like "Sssssss.") Over time, you'll fall into a daily rhythm where he's making it to the potty more and more of the time.
What parents say
"With my second [child,] we are doing part-time EC since I'm working … I have him at a home day care, and they saw me offer him the potty once upon pickup as he was waking up. They now offer [it] upon waking, and usually catch a pee and sometimes a poop, which is very exciting for them … My son is 8 months [old,] and we have caught all poops in the potty for months — maybe missed 1 or 2, even at day care."
"EC doesn't have to be a crazy, full-time commitment. I think it does help kids grow up understanding what the potty is for and can make potty training easier later on. (It did for us at least.) So even part-time is beneficial, and every diaper saved is a good thing."
How to choose the best potty-training method for your family
There's no one right away to teach your child to use the toilet, experts say.[6] Instead, you'll want to consider things like:
- Your temperament. Are you a Type-A person who thrives on schedules? Then a quicker, more efficient method might work best for you. If efficiency isn't a high priority, you might prefer a more gradual, child-led approach, Dr. Brown says.
- Your child's temperament. How much your toddler control wants may determine whether you do a fast, schedule-based training or a slower approach that follows his lead. If you're not sure where your child falls, "Think back to times in the past where you've introduced your child to something new," Dr. Brown suggests. "Was your child more receptive to following your lead or having autonomy to navigate at their own pace?"
- Your schedule. You might be drawn to the idea of potty training over a long weekend or break if your child goes to day care or preschool (or is getting ready to go to one where potty training is required), but a slower timeline might work if you're at home most of the time.
FAQ
What's the best potty training method?
There's no clear favorite! "The best method is the one that works for the family, the parent's lifestyle and the child's temperament," Dr. Brown says. You might know immediately which method that is. It's also totally fine to experiment with different approaches or even combine strategies from multiple methods (like setting a timer to invite your child to try sitting on the potty at regular intervals, but letting her decide if she wants to do it or not).
What is the fastest way to potty train a toddler?
Three-day methods might sound like the fastest option in theory — and they can be, if you commit to them and your child is ready and willing. But you likely won't make much progress if your child isn't on board or hasn't reached the point developmentally where it makes sense.
In that case, the faster route might be taking a more gradual, child-led approach or just pausing altogether and trying again later on. "Sometimes a couple weeks or a month or two can make a huge difference in terms of readiness," Dr. Brown says.
What is the trick to potty training?
The trick to potty training is waiting until your child is ready and choosing an approach that works for everyone — oh, and being patient. Accidents and power struggles are par for the course when it comes to potty training. The more you can stay calm and consistent, the sooner your toddler will ditch the diapers.
What should you do if your child refuses to potty train?
If you're meeting a lot of potty training resistance, back off for a bit. Your child might not be ready yet, and it's a power struggle you're probably going to lose. Waiting a month or two (or even a few weeks) can make all the difference when it comes to potty training readiness.
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