In many parts of the world, people think nothing of seeing a tot who can walk and talk having a little nosh at his mother’s breast. In this country, however, extended nursing isn’t quite as common.
While some may raise an eyebrow if they spy you breastfeeding your toddler, there’s a lot of official support for extended breastfeeding (which is defined as breastfeeding a toddler past age 1). The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advises that continued breastfeeding has benefits for as long as mom and child want to do it. And the World Health Organization (WHO) takes it a step further by recommending that babies be breastfed for 2 years or more, as long as all their nutritional needs are being met.
Benefits of extended breastfeeding
Some of the benefits of extended breastfeeding for toddlers include:
Good nutrition
One of the benefits of extended nursing is the nutritional boost it can give a toddler, especially a picky one. In fact, experts believe that the composition of breast milk changes to adapt to a toddler’s nutritional needs.
Even if your child eats like a little bird, by nursing he may make up for any deficiencies created by his pickiness. (Just don’t let nursing get in the way of his meals and snacks, and continue to serve up good-for-you foods, like healthy solutions for picky eaters.)
Protection from illness
Your milk will continue to enhance your toddler’s immune system so that he’s less prone to colds, ear infections, allergies and other common ailments. And even if he does get sick, nursing will help to comfort him. In fact, breast milk may be the only thing he can keep down on an upset tummy.
Future health benefits
Research has shown that breastfed babies and toddlers enjoy all sorts of health perks when they grow up, including lower blood pressure and lower cholesterol. They’re also less likely to be overweight or obese, and to develop type-2 diabetes.
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Boosted brain development
Though the research isn't conclusive, some studies have found that the longer and more frequently a toddler breastfeeds, the smarter he’s likely to be thanks to the omega-3 fatty acids, or DHA, that are unique to breast milk.
Quiet time and comfort
Toddlers have important work to do! They’re exploring, building new skills, figuring out all sorts of things about the world. And like any worker, they sometimes need a break. Breastfeeding a toddler can provide the perfect respite during a busy day — a need that moms can certainly relate to.
Like a pacifier or a lovey, breastfeeding can also help to calm an upset toddler or make a boo-boo feel better.
Maternal health benefits
There are benefits to breastfeeding a toddler for you, too. Breastfeeding can reduce the risk of certain cancers (like breast and ovarian) and help you maintain a healthy weight since breastfeeding toddlers takes energy (and burns calories).
Balancing breastfeeding with solids
Breastfeeding a toddler is a little different from nursing a baby. While most pediatric organizations recommend exclusive breastfeeding during the first 6 months, by age 1, children are getting plenty of nutrition from solid foods. In other words, there are no hard and fast rules about how much or how often a toddler should nurse or snack on solids. Most tots will call the shots.
But that doesn’t mean you should give up on good manners. For the sake of your own sanity, don’t feed solid foods immediately before or after a nursing session with your little one on your lap. Try to get him into a high chair and commit to a snack or small meal. Even if he rejects it by tossing it across the room, you’re laying the foundation of a healthy, happy eater who may — someday — be welcome at a nice restaurant.
How often to breastfeed a toddler
The funny thing about breastfeeding your toddler is he’s likely to tell you how often he wants to eat and when he’s not in the mood for food. Even if he can’t yet speak in sentences, you’ll know.
Sometimes you won’t want him to be quite so verbal, especially when you’re out and about. So come up with a code word, phrase, or sign (maybe he can pat his chest) that will serve as a tasteful signal that he’s ready for a snack. If he has a habit of grabbing at you, teach him that your shirt (and your breast) is off-limits, but he can always use the secret code word or sign.
If you’re in a situation where there’s no place to go when your toddler asks to nurse, make sure you have healthy snacks for kids that your munchkin can munch on until you’re able to offer your breast.
Nursing positions for breastfeeding your toddler
By now, your toddler is usually more interested in cruising around and exploring his world than sitting still to eat. Even if you could put him into a football or cradle hold, he’d squirm out of it pretty quickly. That’s fine.
Most toddlers prefer to nurse sitting on your lap, with or without your arm tucked under for stability. As long as you choose a position that’s comfortable for both of you, there’s no right or wrong way to go.
Challenges of extended breastfeeding
Extended breastfeeding means more closeness with your child, but it may be challenging to plan when your toddler will want to nurse. Even if you were perfectly comfortable nursing your baby anytime he wanted, you may feel differently now that he’s toddling around on his own two feet.
There may also be folks who criticize you for continuing to nurse your toddler, but you don’t have to engage in these discussions. If you’ve tried to put an end to the conversation but someone keeps harping on it, there’s nothing wrong with having a repertoire of responses to your critics.
A short, sweet, non-defensive comeback is often the best way to handle criticism for nursing a toddler. One way to silence critics is to say that the pediatrician advised you to keep breastfeeding. A simple "doctor’s orders" may suffice. Most people won’t argue with instructions from a doctor.
Or if your cousin at the family reunion says, "Is Tommy still nursing?" Just answer, "Yes," and leave it at that. In answer to, "Is he ever going to stop nursing," just say, "Yep — in about 10 minutes."
When you're ready to wean a toddler
Many nursing toddlers wean themselves. If yours won’t, and you want to step up the process, try simply talking to your child. By age 2, your child understands what you are saying.
Gently let her know that the time for nursing will stop soon, but that mommy will still be there to play, read, snuggle and tickle her belly. Similar to weaning night feeds when she was younger, you can gradually stretch out the times between feeds, scaling back to the ones that are most comfortable for you and your child, like upon waking or just before bed.
You may want to schedule some extra fun "mommy and me" activities to soothe her fears. It might also help to explain that graduating from nursing is something big kids do, and an occasion to celebrate.
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