One of the best parts of parenthood is making your little ones laugh. Pulling silly knock-knock or dad jokes for kids out of your pocket when they least expect it is a great way to bond while building a sense of humor that lasts.
Summer will be over before you know it, so we've gathered some of the best autumn jokes to add to your list of fall activities (like crafts!) to do with your kids. We have a-peeling apple jokes and promise you won't be gourd by our pumpkin jokes. We even branch out into tree jokes and give a lesson in hilarious back-to-school jokes. Sprinkle in these jokes for fall throughout the season if you want to tickle the funny bone of everyone in your family.
Pumpkin jokes
How do you surprise a pumpkin?
You catch them off-gourd.
What does a jack-o-lantern wear after it gets poked in the eye?
A pumpkin patch.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin?
When it gets squashed.
When should you make a jack-o-lantern?
Whenever you can carve out the time.
How do you get a pumpkin pie to blush?
Say, "I have a crust on you."
Why were the farmers gossiping about the jack-o-lantern?
It gave them pumpkin to talk about.
What did the pumpkin say the day before Thanksgiving?
I guess it's time to say good-pie.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say pumpkin again?
Tree jokes
What's the best kind of tree joke?
Acorny one.
Why did the oak tree take a nap?
For rest.
What's a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
What did the acorn say to the nosy squirrel?
There's nuttin' to see here.
Why didn't the maple tree trust the pine tree?
Because it was unbe-leaf-able.
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Leaf.
Leaf who?
Leaf me alone, I'm trying to tell a joke!
Apple jokes
What kind of apple loves the beach?
A crab apple.
How much did the boy like eating the apple?
All the way to his core.
What's even worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
What's the best way to look for an apple?
Keep your eyes peeled.
What do you get when you eat too many apple cider donuts?
You get autumny ache.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
Hannah me one of those apples. I'm hungry!
Back-to-school jokes
How did the bumblebee get to school?
He took the school buzz.
Why was the broom late for school?
It over-swept.
What is a snake's favorite subject?
Hisssstory.
What is a wizard's favorite subject?
Spelling.
Why did the clock get in trouble during class?
It tocked too much.
What kind of cat should you not sit next to in school?
A cheetah.
Why did the bird fly into the library?
It was looking for bookworms.
Why did the cookie stay home from school?
He felt crummy.
Which is the smartest letter in school?
The Ys.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wire.
Wire who?
Wire you asking me so many questions? We'll be late for school!
Halloween jokes
How do werewolves greet each other?
By asking, "Howl you doing?"
Why did the goblin stare at herself in the mirror?
She was so boo-tiful.
When do you know someone is a ghost?
The first time you see them walk through a door.
What do you call a black bird in a zombie costume?
A scare-crow.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
What is the hardest Halloween costume to pull off?
Duct tape.
Which vampire is good at math?
Count Dracula.
Which monster loves to do the twist?
The boogeyman.
What do ghosts like to put in their oatmeal?
Boo-berries.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Is Annie body home? I want some candy!
Thanksgiving jokes
Why did the butter keep telling jokes?
Because he was on a roll.
Why did the piecrust go to the dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
Why did the turkey have a stomach ache?
Because he gobbled everything up until he was stuffed.
What did the pie say to the plate?
You wanna piece of me?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ida.
Ida who?
Ida know about you, but I'm hungry!
More fall jokes
Why did the tiny pepper wear a sweater?
Because it was a little chili.
Why does Humpty Dumpty love the end of summer?
Because he always has a great fall.
Why can't you tell secrets on a farm?
Because the corn has ears.
How can you tell when winter is here?
It's after autumn leaves.
What's the most adorable season of them all?
Awwwtumn.
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