When Frances Ivy-Marie was pregnant the first time around, she was all too aware of the fact that Black women are three times more likely to die from pregnancy complications than white women. She tried explaining her concerns to her physician — but he wouldn't listen. "My prenatal checkups consisted of me trying to explain that I'm a Black woman, and even if everything is perfect on paper, I can still go to the hospital and pass away because people aren't listening." Her doctor tried to convince her that she had nothing to worry about, but ultimately that just left her feeling invalidated. Frances tried to look for a new physician that would listen to her concerns. However, she lived in a rural area of Kentucky at the time, and there wasn't a Black physician taking new patients within three hours of where she lived.
Now, Frances is committed to helping Black women learn how to advocate for themselves during pregnancy and birth
Frances' first labor and delivery were traumatic
Frances, who now lives in a rural area in Virginia, was alone during her pregnancy with her first child because her husband was deployed at the time. Her husband was able to get there around 12 to 16 hours into her labor. But in the hospital, she says she continued to be disappointed by her providers.
While she was having contractions, she remembers her midwife coming into her room and asking how she was doing. When Frances said "I'm fine," her midwife said, "Good, because I know when Black women say they're in pain, they're exaggerating." That response was extremely traumatic for Frances.
"This was supposed to be the woman that was going to be catching and delivering my baby." And things didn't get any better as the labor progressed.
Frances’ baby was measuring right at 9 pounds and was looking good on the monitor. "Nothing was wrong, I was fine and I wasn't handling labor badly." But her care team came in and said, "You haven't done this before so we don't know how your body is going to handle having such a large baby. We would like you to have a C-section."
Frances responded, saying that she would like to have a C-section only if it was medically necessary — but it seemed like her team of providers didn't really take that to heart. They began administering medication to speed up labor (even though she was progressing normally) and that made her uncomfortable. "Then they said my baby wasn't responding well … so they were medically recommending a C-section." To Frances, it felt like she was taking too long and that her providers wanted her to have a C-section so it could all be over and done with.
For her second pregnancy, Frances knew she wanted to switch physicians
Four months after delivering her first child, Frances started looking for a Black physician."With my second pregnancy, I knew I deserved the best no matter what, so I decided that even if I had to drive over two hours, I was going to try hard to see a Black physician,” she says.
"The Black physician I found was very well informed… He saw me as me, he saw me as a mom and he did not see me as a Black woman with unreasonable concerns."
Another meaningful thing her provider did was take into account that her husband was away during her pregnancy. "He would type up our appointments so my husband could read them while he was overseas," she says. "He just really got to see me as all the other things I was: I was a second time-mom that had a birth trauma, and an Army wife that was alone doing these drives to see [a doctor] by herself — and it was beautiful."
Frances advocated for herself in both of her pregnancies — but it wasn't until her second that she was finally able to find an understanding physician. Because of that, her second birth was wildly different than her first, in the best way possible. Her husband was allowed to travel back to the United States to get there for her birth, before had to go back and finish his tour. "Watching my husband see pregnancy and fatherhood from the perspective of the baby is here and healthy instead of 'don't let my wife die,' was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. "Having that beautiful experience the second time around, made the world of difference."
Frances wants all Black women to receive the care they need and deserve
"What really needs to change is this idea that if we want to get good and fair treatment, we have to be seeking care from someone who looks like us," says Frances.
She’s a huge advocate of finding a provider that will listen — and of speaking up if they’re not. "[When I saw my new OB/GYN] it was the first time where I felt the care and the power over my story, and I want all women to feel that way, too," she says.
If you feel like your provider isn’t giving you the compassionate care that you need, it's your right to seek out a new one. Here's how to start the process.
Join What to Expect on July 24 for #BumpDay to show your support for safe pregnancies for every mom, everywhere. Post a baby bump pic — yours or one you love, past or present — or simply share a message of solidarity with the hashtag #BumpDay.
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