By Emily Belson as told to Blake Solomon
My sister, Carla, is four years younger than I am. In 2020, we were preparing for her bachelorette party in Florida — until the COVID-19 pandemic hit. She and her fiancé postponed their wedding, and we didn’t have the opportunity to reschedule her bachelorette. Fast forward to last year, when she was expecting her first child. A couple of her friends were coming into town for her baby shower, and I thought it would be a fun opportunity to give her the bachelorette party she never had.
When I was looking into the idea of a party to celebrate my sister’s pregnancy, I didn't know what to call it. So, I just Googled "baby bachelorette party," and the word "hatchelorette" came up. I just thought it was so funny and cute, so that's what we started calling the celebration for my sister.
@emily.belson Found the slippers last minute too and it just felt right ???? #hatchelorette #pregnanttok #girlsnight #welcomebaga #welcomeboxes #bacheloretteparty ? original sound - Emily Belson
What is a hatchelorette party?
Hatchelorette parties are basically like bachelorette parties, but for moms-to-be.
So when it came to planning my sister's fling, I focused on replicating a bachelorette, but adapting it for pregnancy. Bachelorette parties often come with an element of surprise for the bride-to-be, so my mom and I secretly planned everything before telling Carla about her hatchelorette two weeks before the trip. Maybe it was the hormones talking, but she cried when we gave her the details.
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How to plan a hatchelorette party
There are a few things I learned about planning a fun hatchelorette party by going through the process, so here's what I recommend if you're thinking of hosting one for a friend or family member, or planning a bash for yourself:
Schedule it during the mom-to-be’s second trimester
Fair warning for potential party planners: Don't plan a hatchelorette at the very end of the pregnancy. Even if you’re just doing a spa night at home, women normally feel best in their second trimester, so try to avoid pushing it too late. My sister’s hatchelorette was also right after her baby shower brunch, which worked well for her out-of-town best friends because they didn’t have to travel twice.
Make it a staycation
You can certainly go all out and travel quite a ways for a hatchelorette, but I highly recommend somewhere that's convenient and easy for people to get to — and a staycation (or somewhere pretty close to where the majority of folks will be) is ideal. We live outside of Washington, D.C., and we stayed at the Chesapeake Bay Beach Club, which is about an hour-and-a-half away. I had been there once before, and I just thought it was perfect for the occasion. The baby shower started at 10 a.m., and then we all hopped in the car at 1:30 p.m. to get there in time to check-in at 3.
Keep the guest list small
My mom and I decided to keep things simple and small and just invite my sister's two best friends for a one-night stay. There's something so special about your closest girlfriends getting together, not to mention planning intimate activities like massages are a bit easier to do when there's a smaller group. I texted everyone about the idea a few months before, so they could mark their calendars, and then sent them a formal itinerary as their “official” invitation a couple weeks before the trip.
Have early and honest conversations with the guests
You don’t want your guests to overextend themselves financially or with the logistics of taking time off of work, so be considerate. I wanted everyone to participate in each activity, so I checked in with them before booking anything.
We ended up splitting the cost of two adjoining rooms, enjoyed massages at the spa and then my mom very sweetly covered dinner, so everyone was comfortable with what we were doing and spending.
Create an itinerary
Once I planned out the various activities, I thought it would be fun to include a print out of the itinerary for the girls to see what we were up to that night and the following day. The itinerary was really easy to make on Canva: The template I chose had a champagne bottle and martini glass, and then I swapped out a pair of stilettos for a stroller. Easy peasy, and somehow, made things seem more official and fun.
Prepare gift boxes for each guest
Before the hatchelorette, I made a little gift box with goodies for each girl. I found seafoam green boxes on Amazon and filled them with Nerds Gummy Clusters (one of my sister’s pregnancy cravings!), lip balm, a claw clip (one of my own mom must-haves) and the itinerary. Then, I tied it all together with cute pink pacifier decorations that were left over from her baby shower. My one regret? I wish I had added “In my auntie era” sweatshirts to the gift boxes. My sister, a self-proclaimed Swiftie, surprised us all with those, which were adorable.
Add some special touches to your room
As soon as we got to the hotel, I had everyone go on a walk and explore the property while I ran up to decorate the room. Carla was expecting a girl, so while there wasn’t a specific color scheme, there was definitely a lot of pink. I reused some of the decorations from the shower that morning, blew up balloons, laid out the gift boxes and set up a little cocktail/mocktail bar with wine (plus an alcohol-free option), juice, seltzers and a bunch of snacks. You can do something similar at home or wherever you're hosting the party! It doesn't have to be extravagant, just a few personal touches will make it feel so special.
Prioritize relaxation
One thing I love about a hatchelorette is that it’s more about wellness than partying. For a little indulgence, I scheduled massages for everyone at the same time, so we could all go together. We also had a cocktail/mocktail hour before our dinner reservation, and then I organized yoga the morning after and added some time for a dip in the pool before checkout.
Most moms-to-be will welcome the pampering and down time, so you could also try a walk in a pretty park or garden, manicure or pedicure appointment, or even a movie to unwind.
Don’t stress out
Like bachelorettes, hatchelorettes can easily get out of hand when it comes to money, the guest list, and all the planned activities. But my sister’s was great because it was intimate, relaxing and wasn’t a huge inconvenience for anyone. If we hadn’t gone away for the night, I could’ve hosted a spa night at my house and ordered pizzas before watching a rom-com. It was all about spending time together and honoring this milestone for my sister.
These types of celebrations can seem frivolous, but I know it was one of my sister's absolute favorite weekends. Our brother passed away unexpectedly six years ago, and that really drove home the fact that you need to celebrate the people you love as much as possible. It doesn’t have to be anything too fancy or over-the-top, but the happiest times of your life deserve to be marked with some sort of significance. If you have a friend who's pregnant — especially if she’s had a particularly difficult pregnancy or journey to have a baby — why not have a little party and spend quality time with her before she’s in the newborn trenches? We did and it was a weekend we'll never forget.
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