Helping your little one learn how to understand and follow directions is a process. Your child's receptive language skills — her understanding of words and sounds — begin to develop when she's a newborn. But it takes many more months before she'll understand a command such as "Touch your nose!"
A baby may eagerly imitate you touching your nose (how hilarious you are!), but not necessarily because she understood the words you were saying while you did it. She isn't ignoring your requests — at least not yet. She's still figuring out what certain words and word combinations mean.
When do babies and toddlers understand commands and directions?
Receptive language develops on a different timeline than the ability to express oneself, and your baby will understand what you're saying long before she's able to tell you so.
Here's a rough idea of what to expect when:
Newborn to 3 months
Your newborn will pay close attention to your facial expressions and start to notice the tones you use when you talk to her. Sometime between weeks 6 and 8, you'll notice her first social smile. If your newborn is crying and she hears one of her caregivers trying to console her, just the sound of your voice can help soothe her.
3 to 6 months
As she transitions out of the newborn stage, your baby will start to pick up more clues about her surrounding environment. By 4 months, she'll be following moving objects with her eyes and watching faces (like yours!) closely. She’ll also notice toys that make sounds, and pay attention to music.
And by 6 months, your little attention seeker will become more aware of her caregivers' emotions and be able to respond to them. She’ll even respond to her own name and respond to sounds by making sounds —nan important step towards eventually being able to understand your commands.
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6 to 12 months
In the second half of her first year, your little cutie is becoming more and more alert and in tune with the world. She’ll turn in the direction of sounds, look at you when you say her name and smile often when interacting with you.
She’ll also understand a few commonly used words — and look when you point to them. By 9 months, she'll understand what “no” means — though she won’t always obey it.
As her first birthday approaches, your almost-toddler will be able to respond to simple spoken requests and instructions paired with gestures (like "wave bye-bye!") and even attempt to say words you say (by this age, she may also be saying a few first words).
12 to 18 months
By this point, your cutie will start talking herself, using single words like “milk,” “dog” or “hi.” But she can understand so much more.
Your budding toddler can likely now say several single words and can recognize what common objects are used for (a hair brush, a hat). She can also recognize and point to familiar body parts, people or objects, including in books or pictures, as well as understand two-word phrases ("Daddy's home!") and follow one-part instructions (“shoe off!”).
18 to 24 months
Now approaching her second birthday, your rapidly growing tot is a sponge, absorbing everything she hears. Her ability to understand words skyrockets at this age — she'll soon understand hundreds of words (though she can’t say them all just yet). She can recognize when something is labeled incorrectly (like if you call the “dog” a “plane”).
By age 2, she also is able to start understanding and following two-part directions, such as "Get your lovey and put it in the basket."
24 to 36 months
As your toddler becomes a preschooler, her ability to understand directions and commands continues to flourish. She picks up on new words (and concepts) quickly now, and can name most familiar objects and people (including her own name and age!). By her third birthday, she's able to follow instructions with two or three steps.
How do I teach my child to follow commands and directions?
The best way to help your baby understand what you’re saying and eventually follow commands is to develop her receptive language skills. The best way to do that? Talk to her — a lot!
Not sure where to start? Try these strategies when talking to your baby:
- Narrate your day. Describe what you’re doing and seeing when you walk around the house.
- Label everything. Point out colors and shapes, the names of toys and the dog you pass on your walk down the street.
- Keep it simple. Use clear, descriptive language and plenty of repetition so your little one begins to learn to associate individual words with their meanings.
- Skip pronouns. Use names rather than pronouns whenever possible: for your baby, "the ball" is clearer than "that," and "Mama" is easier to understand than "me."
As your baby becomes a toddler, you can help expand her receptive language skills by asking lots of questions, such as:
- “Yes” or “no” questions. Ask simple questions ("Is this a ball?") and silly ones ("Can a pig fly?") to prompt your child to respond.
- Multiple choice questions. Questions that give your child a choice (such as "Do you want a banana or an avocado?" or "Do you want to wear your yellow hat or your green hat?") help her understand that responding helps her get what she wants.
After asking a question, give your toddler time to respond, then praise her for her input and reaffirm what she said. For example, “That's right! Pigs don’t fly!”
What to do if your child has difficulty following directions
As with any other milestone, your child's ability to understand and communicate will happen on her own timeline. But if you have any concerns about your child's development, discuss them with your pediatrician.
It's especially important to talk to your child's doctor if you notice any of the following:
- By 18 months: Your child doesn't copy others, gain new words, have at least six new words or point to things to show you
- By 24 months: Your child doesn't know what to do with common items (such as a brush), use two-word phrases or follow simple instructions
- By 36 months: Your child doesn't speak in sentences or understand simple instructions
As for what's next? You can expect your child to continue developing her receptive language through the preschool years. Upcoming milestones include responding when you call to her from another room and understanding colors and shapes, as well as more complex concepts like familial relationships (“grandma” or “baby brother”).
At this point, her expressive language will also start to catch up to her receptive language. By the time your tot turns 4, she’ll not only understand and be able to respond to directions, she’ll be asking a ton of questions of her own.
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