If it seems like your calendar is filled with birthday parties lately, you’re not imagining things. July through September are the most popular months for birthdays, which means that you can count on tons of parties happening this time of year.[1] I know that between my three kids, my family will attend at least 10 celebrations this season.
And you may have noticed, as I have, a new trend on some of those invitations: more parents saying "no presents" when they ask you to attend.
According to a recent What to Expect poll of 404 moms, 13% now put "no gifts" on birthday party invitations. Here's what you need to know if you get one of these invites.
"No presents" doesn't always mean no presents
There are many reasons why parents request no gifts. Some kids simply have too many doodads and tchotchkes.
When my children get new toys, I can't help but cringe at the thought of these items eventually ending up in a landfill. Last year, we attempted a "used gifts only" party, yet still ended up with new presents we didn't need.
Many parents want to do away with birthday party gifts to be sensitive to other families’ budgets. Of all of the moms in our survey, half don't want gifts or don't care if their children get them.
"All of the kid invites we have received have said 'no gifts,' so I feel slightly pressured to do this too," one Community member says. "But we don't have much family where we are, and I think gifts to help celebrate my daughter would be so much fun."
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However, even if an invitation says "no gifts," 3 in 10 moms ignore it and still bring a present. Millennial moms are significantly more likely to do this, with 33% still bringing a gift, compared to 23% of Gen Z moms.
"I just don't feel comfortable coming empty handed," says one Community member. So what should you do?
"Your best bet is to follow their instruction," says Leah Rocketto, What to Expect's associate shopping director. "Understandably, some people can't help themselves and will bring a gift regardless of what's written on the invitation. But don't let others' decisions to go against the request sway you. If you really don't want to show up empty-handed, a small gift or a handmade card from your child are appropriate."
Most parents bring gifts, and many hosts expect them
Ultimately, gift-giving is still the norm at children's birthday parties; a massive 97% of moms purchase gifts for their children's friends.
If you're unsure what to do, consider whether to bring a gift based on the relationship you have with the family: 31% of moms in the survey say they'll bring a present to a "no gifts" party depending on how well they know the host.
"For a close friend, I might ignore it and get a gift because I'd plan to get them a gift even without a party," says one Community member. "For an acquaintance, I wouldn't get something."
If you are buying a gift, $25 to $30 is the norm
On average, parents spend $28 on a kid's birthday party gift. But don't feel awkward if you're spending outside of that range: About a third of moms say they spend $21 to $30, while one in 10 moms splurge and spend more than $50.
Books are the go-to for many in the WTE Community, especially for "no gift" parties. "You can never have enough books," one Community member says.
Methodology
The Everyday Health Group Pregnancy & Parenting Talk to Moms Monthly Poll was conducted by Everyday Health Group – Pregnancy and Parenting between April 25 and 26, 2024. We surveyed 404 women ages 18 to 44 who are currently pregnant or have at least one child up to 5 years old.
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