Hurray! Your little girl has ditched her diapers and there’s much rejoicing in the house. But wait a minute — is she suddenly having accidents again? Or asking to wear diapers instead of the cute underwear with the yellow daisies?
Alas, as with other types of regression related to sleep, language and behavior, potty training regression is common during the toddler years.
For some help navigating this bump in the road, here’s what potty training regression is, as well as some causes behind it and how long it can last. As with most childhood stages, keep in mind that a good dose of patience and a little humor should help this moment pass quickly enough — just in time for the next phase!
What is potty training regression?
Potty training regression is a setback in your toddler’s hard-fought efforts to shed her diapers and regularly use her mini potty or sit on the big toilet with a training seat.[1] It's not the same as having an accident here and there (nearly all toddlers wet the bed at some point or “forget” and just go in their pants). Accidents are just that: occasional age-appropriate mishaps.
True potty regression occurs when a child who is potty trained and has been dry for a good stretch suddenly starts to have a few days or even weeks of wetness and accidents. Your toddler may also announce, seemingly out of the blue (and maybe at top volume!), that she's decided against undies and wants Pull-Ups or diapers back.
Potty training regression causes
The causes of potty training regression in toddlers are often related to life events that are beyond their control. Here’s what could be happening in your toddler's world to lead to potty training regression:
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- There’s a new baby in the house. One big outside stressor for toddlers is the arrival of a brand new sibling. Whether via pregnancy, surrogacy or adoption, the spotlight has shifted from your big girl to the baby, and this new vibe at home can cause potty training regression.
- You’ve moved. An unfamiliar house, with all its strange noises like radiators clanking or tree branches scraping the windows, can be scary to a toddler.
- There’s been a divorce. When parents split up, kids often toggle between two homes. This upset in the regular routine and family structure may lead to frequent accidents and potty training regression.
- Mom or Dad is back to work or has had a change in schedule. Another big life change for toddlers is a shift in a parent’s work schedule, such as heading back to the office in person or taking a night gig.
- There's a new babysitter. Getting to know a new sitter takes time and effort. And this change could be stressful if your child was close to the old babysitter and misses her.
- Day care or preschool started. Leaving home for hours at a time to play with a new group of kids can also cause fear and worry, resulting in potty training regression.
- Pooping is painful. If pooping has been a challenge or your toddler has been constipated, she may equate the pain with going on the potty — and she may ask for her diapers back if she thinks it’ll feel better.
- The potty is scary. Did she almost fall in one time? Or does the loud flushing frighten her? These and other aspects of using the toilet can cause potty training regression.
- It could be physical. While it’s rather uncommon, there could be a medical reason for why your child is frequently wet. Talk to your pediatrician to see if that's the case.
Tips for dealing with potty training regression
Whatever the reason for your toddler's potty training regression, it’s best to deal with it matter-of-factly. To help, try these smart tips to help get your tot back to potty mastery:[2]
- Offer positive reinforcement. Do all that you can to pump up her ego. Tell her that accidents are very normal and that she’ll get over this hump — and you believe in her!
- Remain calm. As frustrating as potty training regression is, don’t get upset. If you start to snap or reprimand her, you’ll only make the situation more fraught. Instead, speak quietly and calmly as you work to address the issue.
- Talk it over. Probe a bit to see what might be behind the potty training regression.
- Start at square one. It’s fine to go back to the beginning and give your toddler a chance to relearn the basics and work to figure out potty training again.
- Ask about laxatives. If your child’s hard stools are persistent, check in with the pediatrician. She might recommend laxatives to help make them pain-free.
- Avoid the noise. Is the flushing frightening? Offer to do the job for her when she’s done.
Is potty training regression normal?
Yes, potty training regression is common and completely normal, especially if a toddler has had a bad experience during the process, like almost falling in or painful pooping. And mastering toilet training is a big developmental milestone that can take months to complete and is sure to come with at least a few setbacks. Fortunately, potty training regression is usually temporary.
How long does potty training regression last?
While some cases of potty training regression don’t last for long, others may linger, depending on the level of stress behind the phase. Schedule an appointment with the pediatrician if your child refuses to go back to going on the potty or won't poop. And you can always make a call if you’re out of ideas that might help or you don’t see much progress with your re-training efforts.
The loss of a mastered skill like potty training can be frustrating for everyone involved. But if potty training regression happens to your toddler, try to take it in stride. With enough time and patience, your little one will get back to going to the bathroom on the potty like a champ — and those difficult days of potty training regression will be a distant memory.