If your toddler keeps climbing out of the crib or getting out of bed at night, you're in good company. Nearly all parents wrestle with this very common issue during the toddler years, whether it occurs overnight, in the wee hours of the morning or just after you tuck in your tot.
As you master how to keep your toddler in bed, it’s a good idea to consider what’s going on with your little guy, whether physically, emotionally or developmentally. The age and stage he’s in will impact his ability (and willingness!) to peacefully head to bed. Fortunately, there are several techniques you can try that’ll help everyone finally relax and settle down for the night.
Read on for more about why a toddler climbs out of the crib or bed at night, plus get some smart tips you can use to curb this habit. Just remember, patience and consistency are key to pop-out-of-bed behavior. Keep your cool and keep calmly returning him to bed!
Why is my toddler climbing out of the crib?
When a toddler won’t stay in bed, it could mean his sleep needs are changing. Keep in mind that toddler sleep can range from 11 to 14 hours a day, including naps. But he’s also likely in the midst of a whole host of other big changes, including the following:
- A bed switch. Around the age of 3, your little one will likely be ready to transition from his crib to a big bed, so if he's still in his crib, he may be climbing out as a sign he's ready to ditch it. But take a quick height measurement — the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends toddlers be at least 35 inches tall before switching from crib to bed. And since he can easily climb out of a toddler bed or twin, you can expect him to try it (a lot!) once he's made the change when he should be napping or sleeping. Keep in mind that securely installing baby gates in his room doorway and throughout your house are paramount for his safety (and can prevent your little wanderlust from playing pirate near the stairs or other unsafe areas during naptime and at night).
- Nap changes. As hard as it is for parents to face, less and less daytime snoozing is the normal trend from ages 2 to 5. Your tot may need a shorter nap (or none at all) if he’s popping out of bed more than he used to during the day and at night.
- Sleep regression. Your toddler may be going through a sleep regression just as he may have as a baby. During the toddler years, these temporary sleep setbacks can happen around 12 months, 15 months, 18 months, 2 years and 3 years.
- Fear of the dark. A monster under the bed or in the closet can be very real to a toddler. A bigger vocabulary and a greater imagination and understanding of his surroundings can also conspire to create scary shadows and other bumps in the night.
- Separation anxiety. Your toddler misses you when you’re out of sight, so a visit from him is possible. And “fear of missing out” (aka FOMO) may occur now since your child is aware of what’s happening in the other room and doesn’t want to miss out on any fun with you or his siblings.
- He wants to play or practice a new milestone. Sometimes toddlers just don't feel like going to sleep and instead would rather play with their toys or work on a new milestone like walking, talking, climbing or jumping.
- He hasn't learned to self-soothe. If your tot never mastered self-soothing as a baby and is used to having you comfort him, he might be climbing out of the crib or bed to find you because he doesn't know how to calm himself down when he wakes up overnight or is trying to fall asleep.
- Sugar overload. A kid hyped up on too many cookies may pop awake and leave his bed. And caffeine could also interfere with Zzzs, so nix chocolate at least six hours before bedtime.
- Potty training. Accidents happen when you’re learning to shed diapers, plus it’s hard to stay dry at night at this age. The bottom line: Expect to change some sheets now and then. And if your little one is now sleeping in his big boy bed, consider buying a two-way baby monitor if you haven’t already. He may need to call out for a little loving help as he navigates this milestone.
- A new sibling. It’s tough for a 3-year-old to sleep soundly if there’s an infant wailing nearby. The arrival of a new baby is a common disruption, but other big life events can impact a toddler’s sleep too, such as a new babysitter, a move or the start of day care or preschool.
- Teething pain. Toddlers go through a teething stage just the way babies do, but this time they’re cutting incisors, canines and both sets of molars, upper and lower. Ouch!
- Screen overload. It’s hard to separate toddlers from screens nowadays, but it’s a savvy move when sleep is an issue. The reason? The blue light from these devices suppresses the production of melatonin, the sleep-inducing hormone. And exciting content from tablets, phones and TVs can overstimulate your tot and make staying in bed difficult. Shut off all screens at least two hours before bedtime and keep them out of your tot's room.
- They need something. Sometimes toddlers climb out of the crib or bed because they have to go to the bathroom (if they're potty trained) or are thirsty and need a drink of water.
Tips on how to keep your toddler from getting out of bed at night
Take a deep breath and know that this toddler phase, too, shall eventually pass. In the meantime, here’s how to keep your toddler from climbing out of the crib or bed at night:
More on Toddler Sleep Issues
- Return to sender. Well, return him to bed that is, each and every time, with little fanfare. Be matter-of-fact and simply remind your tot that it’s time to sleep. And then do it again and again and again until he gets the message and stays put. As tempting as it is to let him curl up with you or lie with him in his room until he nods off, try to resist the urge, as it could become a hard-to-break habit.
- Reward him. Some toddlers respond well to sticker charts or small treats, so each time he stays in bed all night, add a star. After he earns five or so, let him choose something special, like an outing to the zoo or a small toy.
- Leave his room before he falls asleep. This way, he won't wake up wondering where you are and why you're not there like you were when he was nodding off, which might make him get out of bed and come looking for you.
- Try sleep training — again. Some toddlers (and their parents!) benefit from a sleep training refresher course, such as the chair method or bedtime fading techniques.
- Hone the routine. Has your tuck-in schedule gone off the rails? Review your routine to be sure it’s a smooth and quiet transition from the busy day. You may want to lengthen this time together with an extra story, song or longer soak in the tub to relax your tot.
- Offer a friend. A cute stuffed elephant or dolly to cuddle with might help quash those nighttime scares. And try adding a night light or leave a light on in the hallway or closet.
- Check the nap schedule. A toddler who gets out of bed might not be all that tired. The fix here is to consider shortening his nap or ending it altogether if it seems like he can get through the day without it (and without melting down too).
- Tweak his bedtime. Remember, toddler sleep spans a range, which means yours might not need a full 14 hours (the range for this age is 11 to 14 hours including nighttime and naps). Check to see whether your tot could be heading to bed too soon and then push back his bedtime so he’s good and tired and less likely to visit you.
- Limit liquids. Staying dry is a challenge, but cutting back on water and other drinks before turning in can help. You might also offer a light bite before bed (crackers and thinly spread peanut butter, or banana slices and milk, for example) in case he’s getting up in the night with a rumbly tummy.
- Nix TV. Stick to stories and songs before bed, rather than raucous cartoons or anything scary that might pop up on a sibling’s screen.
Even though this stage may seem endless and it may feel as though your nights will forever be interrupted by your toddler climbing out of the crib or bed repeatedly, there will come a day when your toddler stays in bed after you put him down and falls asleep without a fuss. By following these tips and hanging in there as patiently and calmly as possible (definitely easier said than done!), you'll eventually find yourself on the other side of this latest toddler challenge.
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