Using Pronouns - Mixing Up He, She, and It

How toddlers use pronouns

At around age 2, your child will realize there are quicker ways to say “the boy” and “the girl,” but she may call boys “she” and “her” and girls “he” or “him” or refer to everyone as one gender. Your little talker may even call people “it,” even though she’s aware that people are very different from inanimate objects.

Why toddlers have a tough time using pronouns

Your toddler's language development is still a work in progress. So while your child understands most of what you say to her, using language is still a very new skill. Your child needs more time to hear how pronouns are used and practice them herself.

What you need to know about pronoun problems

Toddlers start becoming pros at using pronouns at around age 2-and-a-half, but if your child doesn’t have pronouns down pat by then, mention it at your next pediatrician visit. Your doctor might suggest that you practice using pronouns together for a few months and then report back on your progress. Still no dice at that point? You may be referred to a speech pathologist, especially if she's still having trouble with other toddler words.

How to help your toddler use pronouns

Narrate your day. There are always opportunities for your toddler to learn — you'd be surprised at how much she takes in from what's going on around her. So tell your child what’s going on by using pronouns. Say something like, “The mail carrier came! I’m going to see what she left for us. Then I’ll start cooking dinner. Do you think Daddy will like what I make for him?” Hearing everyday language will help your little one learn how to use pronouns.
Model the right way to use pronouns. Although you may be embarrassed when your child calls another little girl at the playground “he,” avoid saying, “That’s a girl — not a boy.” For one, she probably already knows that the potential playmate she’s spied is a girl. For another, she’s more likely to learn from hearing the right pronoun to use. So say, “I see that little girl over there, too. She looks nice. Let’s go talk to her.”
Play games. Try a toddler learning activity that works her language skills, like a game of “I Spy.” When you’re out and about, point out items people are wearing or holding. You could say, “I spy something red.” When your child finds the correct object, say, “Yes, that boy is wearing red. He is wearing red sneakers.”
Try not to compare. While it's totally normal to want to compare your child to his peers, try not to. At this age, there are more variations in children's language development than almost any other skill, say experts at the American Academy of Pediatrics. Some children are quicker to pick up on language subtleties, including pronouns, sooner than others, and that doesn't mean they're more advanced or smarter. Just by listening and practicing, the odds are that your little one will master basic grammar rules on her own by the time she starts school.